Spoil Yourself

So I have decided to do a year without alcohol.  A year sounds SO LONG, I know it isn't that long, but to keep me motivated I decided to set myself small targets.  So I recently purchased a charm bracelet and every time I pass a 50 day marker my husband is going to buy me a charm for the bracelet. 

I was recently wandering what is happening with my body since I gave up alcohol, so I did a bit of research and I was shocked at the damage alcohol inflicts on the body.  It is probably something I should have looked up ages ago, but never did manage to do it.  I have been sober for 115 days now and it's amazing to read up on all the things that are changing.  One huge thing for me is sleep.  I never used to sleep well and always felt that I needed alcohol to help me fall asleep.  It's true alcohol makes you fall asleep quicker, but your overall quality of sleep is very bad.  The medication I am on helps to relax me at night and fall asleep, and I often fall asleep downstairs trying to stay awake to watch the latest show :-)  But my overall sleep has improved so much - I don't wake up in the morning feeling restless and groggy, and by 5 in the afternoon, I am tired but it's a different kind of tired.  It is a revelation!!!!!!

There are lots of good things happening that you can't notice too, organs and cells are regenerating and your body is generally recovering from years of abuse, it's shocking how bad alcohol actually is for your body. 

New Goal - 1 Yr

Well it's been 113 days and I have finally committed to staying sober for the full year!  It took me awhile to commit because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do.  I knew I had to make another goal otherwise I wasn't going to stay sober, but I kept questioning if I wanted to continue to stay sober. 

I spoke to my son and my husband about it, and they both said they wanted me to stay off alcohol.  It was two very sobering conversations, especially with my 9 year old son.  It made me realise again just how much I was drinking before I stopped, and how badly I had let alcohol become the main focus of my life. 
My husband asked me if I miss it, my answer, yes at times I do miss the escape that alcohol offered.  And the bravery it gave me, you know that phone call you really don't want to make, have a few glasses of anything and it doesn't look so daunting, big problem though is that in the morning you will not quite remember what you said, so is it worth it - no.  Apart from these brief moments I don't miss it.  I don't miss stressing about making sure I had wine or gin at home, or stressing where I was going to find the money to buy it.  Or wandering how I was going to hide the second bottle I had bought, so my husband didn't see just how much I was drinking every night.  I don't miss the person it made me, and I definitely do not miss the fog in the morning, or the queasy stomach, or pounding headache.  There are so many more positives to not drinking than there is to actually having that glass of anything that might numb you for awhile, but it certainly doesn't solve any of the problems you might be having. 

So, here I go - I am officially committing to the full year.