Tuesday 30 April 2019

New Goal - 1 Yr


Well it's been 113 days and I have finally committed to staying sober for the full year!  It took me awhile to commit because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do.  I knew I had to make another goal otherwise I wasn't going to stay sober, but I kept questioning if I wanted to continue to stay sober. 

I spoke to my son and my husband about it, and they both said they wanted me to stay off alcohol.  It was two very sobering conversations, especially with my 9 year old son.  It made me realise again just how much I was drinking before I stopped, and how badly I had let alcohol become the main focus of my life. 
My husband asked me if I miss it, my answer, yes at times I do miss the escape that alcohol offered.  And the bravery it gave me, you know that phone call you really don't want to make, have a few glasses of anything and it doesn't look so daunting, big problem though is that in the morning you will not quite remember what you said, so is it worth it - no.  Apart from these brief moments I don't miss it.  I don't miss stressing about making sure I had wine or gin at home, or stressing where I was going to find the money to buy it.  Or wandering how I was going to hide the second bottle I had bought, so my husband didn't see just how much I was drinking every night.  I don't miss the person it made me, and I definitely do not miss the fog in the morning, or the queasy stomach, or pounding headache.  There are so many more positives to not drinking than there is to actually having that glass of anything that might numb you for awhile, but it certainly doesn't solve any of the problems you might be having. 

So, here I go - I am officially committing to the full year. 

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